You Already Know Why You're Not Stuck. You're Just Ignoring Yourself.
What if you're not stuck? What if the reason you're feeling restless, frustrated or uncertain isn't because you lack clarity, confidence or capability? What if you already know what to do? In this episode of…
What if you’re not stuck? What if the reason you’re feeling restless, frustrated or uncertain isn’t because you lack clarity, confidence or capability? What if you already know what to do? In this episode of the newly relaunched Dr Sam Collins Podcast, Sam explores one of the most powerful lessons she has learned from more than 25 years of working with women leaders, entrepreneurs and change makers around the world: most women are not stuck. Most women already know what needs to happen next. The challenge is trusting themselves enough to act.
Sam introduces two important characters who will accompany listeners throughout the series: Samantha, the inner critic whose job is to keep us safe, accepted and comfortable, and the inner pioneer who calls us towards courage, possibility and the life we’re capable of creating.
If you’ve ever found yourself overthinking a decision, waiting for certainty, second-guessing yourself or postponing a dream that won’t leave you alone, this episode is for you.
Because perhaps the question isn’t, “What should I do?” Perhaps the question is, “What do I already know?”
In this episode you’ll discover: – Why smart, capable women often mistake fear for confusion – The real reason so many women feel stuck – How to recognise the voice of your inner critic – How to strengthen the voice of your inner champion – A practical challenge to help you take your next courageous step Because you were never the problem.
The life you’re looking for may be waiting on the other side of a decision you already know you need to make. Perhaps it’s time to trust yourself.
Listen & watch
Transcript
Transcript
Select a chapter to read along. Use “Play this clip” to jump to that moment.
Hello and welcome to the Dr. Sam Collins podcast. I'm Sam Collins. And for the past 25 years, I have had the privilege of working with extraordinary women, women who are leading organizations, building businesses, changing industries, raising families, challenging systems, and making a difference in ways that often go unseen. Yet beneath all of that, I've noticed something. Many of these women are carrying what I would call a quiet restlessness, not because they aren't successful enough, not because they aren't accomplished enough, but because part of them knows they're not finished yet.
There's another chapter calling, a bigger contribution, a braver truth, an idea they haven't acted on yet, a dream they haven't fully claimed, a conversation they haven't had yet. This podcast is for you. for those women, the rebels, the change makers, the pioneers, even though you might not call yourself that, you are the women who refuse to believe that life is simply about climbing ladders, accumulating achievements and quietly fading into the background.
So each week we'll explore these topics, leadership, courage, purpose,
personal transformation, and what it really means to create meaningful change in your life, your health, your work in the world around you. Most of all, we'll explore how to become more fully ourselves. So let's begin. You already know why you're not stuck. You're just ignoring yourself. I want to start this new chapter with a challenge. What if you've been asking yourself the wrong question? For years, I've watched brilliant women ask themselves, what should I do?
Should I stay? Should I go? Should I start the business? Should I write the book? Should I take the risk? Should I speak up? Should I put myself forward? Should I stop settling for a life that's become too small? And yet, I don't think that's the real question. The real question is what Do you already know that you're refusing to acknowledge? Because after 25 years of coaching and working with women all over the world, I've come to a conclusion this year that surprised even me.
Most of us are not stuck. Most of us already know. We already know the relationship is over. The role no longer fits us. We're capable of so much more. We know that the… passion project matters. We know we want to create change. We know we're bored, irritated, have had enough with how the world is operating and we've outgrown the life we're currently living. We know, we know, we know there's so much in our life.
We all, we love and we like, and we enjoy, but we just have that niggle. There is something more. The problem isn't knowledge. It isn't time. It isn't your network. And it surely for hell is not your confidence. The problem is trust. Or perhaps more accurately, fear. Fear of what happens if we listen to that voice.
fear of what happens if we don't. Now, here's something I've never shared publicly before, so here goes. Inside me lives two very different personas or different voices. The first voice is Samantha. Samantha. Samantha is my inner critic. She's deeply committed. To keeping me safe. She worries what people think. She likes certainty. She likes plan. She likes evidence. She's pretty cynical about a lot of things. She likes permission. She likes fitting in.
She likes to do the right thing, wear the right thing, et cetera. And she continually asks. What if it doesn't work? What if you embarrass yourself? What if people judge you? What if you're not good enough? She is the queen, the queen of what if, and not in any type of positive scenario. To be honest, Samantha has had the microphone for much of my 55 years. Perhaps you have your own version of Samantha.
What's her name?
A voice with a very different name, but a very familiar script, perhaps. Now there is another voice in me. Now she's really not very loud recently, or perhaps I don't allow her to be loud, but she is a voice I've been learning to trust much more recently. In fact, I only recently named her a voice I call Valkyrie. Valkyrie doesn't give a flying F about fitting in. She cares about truth. She cares about possibility.
She cares about living fully rather than safely. She sees futures that Samantha cannot even fathom and definitely can't yet see. She asks entirely different questions, not what will go wrong or what if it goes wrong? But what if this is exactly why you're here? Not what will people think but what difference could this make? And are you willing for some people not to like you for this difference that you want to make?
Not who do you think you are? But who might you become?
Wow. And when I look back at the best decisions I've ever made, especially this year, my year of freedom, they nearly always come from Valkyrie. Not because they were comfortable and not because they were risk-free and not because they were true. I suspect because they were resonantly right for me. I suspect That's why so many women feel stuck. It's not because we lack answers. It's because that inner critic is talking so loudly that we can no longer hear the inner champion.
That voice, that one voice that's asking you to stay safe when the other is asking you to become who you came here to be. One voice wants certainty. The other wants possibility. One wants approval. The other wants freedom. One voice wants you to maintain the life you've built. The other one wants you to burn it down and create the life you're capable of. And here's the truth.
Neither voice ever disappears. I still hear Samantha almost every day and she has a lot of incredibly sensible things to say. You know, we've still got bills to pay and we still have family to support and many, many things that she will say that are in the camp of being very realistic. The difference is that Valkyrie is becoming louder, stronger, more trusted. more practiced, more articulate. And perhaps that's what this podcast is really about.
Not about becoming fearless, not fixing yourself, not becoming someone else, but strengthening that voice that already knows. The voice that has always known. The voice that has been patiently waiting beneath the noise.
the voice that knows what matters, the voice that knows what's next, the voice that's calling you forward. So before we finish today, I have one question for you. Not what should you do? Not what would be sensible? Not what would keep everyone happy? What do you already know? What do you already know about yourself, about your destiny, about what you would love to be doing in this one precious life. And what would happen if this week you trusted that knowing?
I'm not even asking you to take a ton of action around it, just to start listening and trusting just a little bit more, just a little bit more than you trusted your fears, because the world doesn't need more women playing small. It doesn't need more women waiting for permission. It certainly doesn't need more women doubting themselves. The world needs women who are willing to listen to the call they've been hearing all along.
Maybe that's why you're here. Maybe that's why this podcast found you. And maybe this is the moment you stop asking for permission and start paying
attention. So thank you for joining me on the Dr. Sam Collins podcast. If today's episode sparks something in you, don't let it become just another insight that disappears by tomorrow morning. Do something with it. Take a step. It could be a baby step. Start the conversation, make the decision, send the email, trust yourself. Most change doesn't begin with some big 25-page strategic PowerPoint plan, it begins with a baby step of action.
It begins with just a little bit more courage. And if you know another woman who's being called towards something bigger, please share this episode with her because together we're creating a community of pioneers, change makers, and trailblazers who are committed to leading change in their lives, workplaces, and the world, and a vision of the world that has more empathy, more harmony, more compassion, more courage, more diversity, more inclusion. So until next time.
Listen carefully. Samantha may be loud, but Valkyrie knows the way. I'm Dr. Sam Collins. Thank you for listening.
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