5 Top Tips to Trailblaze Change

I want to share with you five top tips for how you can start to follow through on these dreams and aspirations. If you commit to a change, whatever that change is, and you commit to it tonight, then magic starts to happen. Have you ever noticed that? And I write about this in my book, Radio Heaven, where suddenly you… you know you get an email, or you meet somebody, or you see something, and you weren’t really expecting it, but help starts to come. You ever had that circumstance? It’s sad the opposite happen. Like if you think you it’s all so miserable and you’re never gonna do it, then you sort of end up walking around and meeting other people that say it’s miserable too and that makes you believe it. So the same thing can happen. In fact, we have a part of our brain called the reticular activating device which is like Google, it will search for the things that it wants. In 2006 when I was recently divorced and I created a vision board, you know pictures of what you want in your life, in your work – you’re looking at me like it’s mad – it is mad but it’s really fun. Who’s done a vision board before, anybody? See I’m not the only one, right? And anyway, I cut out this picture, wish I had a picture of it up here for you, I don’t, but I cut out this picture you know lots of pictures about work and wanting to live in in America and live by the ocean and I cut out this one picture of this man with like gray hair and he has a little beard and and it was sort of like Sean Connery meets Harrison Ford and I cut out this picture and then like and I did this vision board and then a few weeks later what happened nothing no I had so I phoned at my coaches she was like you know you have to take an action I was on guard wha and then his email came into my inbox which was an invitation to a conference and where was the conference Salewa s– in America not California but I thought it’s close and then on the first evening which was a networking event and drinks in you a bit like this and I thought oh I don’t really want to do that because I’m tired but I’m going to come down and pretend and I got like two glasses of wine in my hand and some Fuchs is like I’m with someone but I’m not really I’m just greedy and having two glasses of wine I was like taking them out to my room and literally this man like was like standing in front of me and I saw him and it was like man

▶ Play this clip

from vision board because my Brett cheeks are activating devices like and there he was so they can see you he’s real live California originally from Manchester so glass of wine away so anyway so um commit cuz when you commit great and amazing things really do happen so you don’t always people produce these crazy 55 page strategic plans or a big you know personal development plan and where does it sit it’s it’s on a computer I want to dare it’s gonna dis collects dust you do not need to know every single thing that you are going to do before you do it if you do something then it will lead to other things okay so baby steps along the way there’s a saying which I love which is be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid I love that because it kind of says it’s not just about us that there is something bigger out there whatever your beliefs are that when you actually say I’m gonna do something they kind of go okay she’s serious and the first thing they do is send you a little test like do you really mean it and the second thing they do if you pass the test is they send you a little bit of gold they’ll send you something and we have to be awake to really notice that email or that person you just spoke to that said like there’s magic potentially magic here and with the woman who wants to do the business the woman that wants to help her the two of you might side oh let’s not to their and you might run I didn’t mean it you know and she’s like I’m done scared and you may never connect or you make make that commit to change and you might magic you know you could be like footsie 100 within however long it takes you the second one is absolutely fundamental there’s so much out there about focus on your strengths you know strengths based philosophies books like now discover your strengths by marcus buckingham a big strengths

▶ Play this clip

positive psychology movement out there for me this really means understanding where you are at your best what is it that you are good at and you enjoy this is very important right because there’s many things that we’re good at we don’t particularly enjoy them what are you good at and you enjoy time flies when you’re doing it and it seems like common sense to you in the common sense one’s really important please pay attention because so many people like oh you know I just like write 17 you know I’m just a writer and I write 70 pages a day and it’s not really very much and yeah I think oh my god because that person just takes for granted that that’s what they do so don’t take strengths for granted so what is it that you’re good at and then really start to design your career and your life if you can around those strengths think about that so that you are doing work that you find even easy that you are good at that you enjoy and you know time flies when you’re doing it and for you it feels like common sense we’d all love to be in jobs like that the more that we can design our strengths our strengths and in that way the better it will be Richard Branson says that he has his life you know in his work he was a very successful guy eighty percent of his time is focused on strengths and twenty percent of his time is focused on his weaknesses things that he’s not very good at he’s exceptional its surrounding himself with people who are you know complement his strengths and weaknesses so focusing on your strengths is really oh god I don’t know it’s just one of those things that I wish I could like implants in through a head now I take a computer chip and like put it in there they like reprogram it because so many of us are deeply focused on our weaknesses and it’s reinforced everyday by our performance reviews our bosses and the conversations that we have try to start to really turn that around it will make a massive difference to you and it’ll make a massive difference to those around you because if you master it for yourself you can help other people do the same thing who in the rooms got kids or knows kids those kids wouldn’t it be fantastic

▶ Play this clip

if we grew a generation of kids that were focused on their strengths on Saturday we’re doing our mad Leadership Conference for young women aged between 11 and 18 and because we’re trying to get them young the ultimately interesting but I’ve seen this year in year out we get a lot of sisters come together and once this is 11 and one sisters 16 who’s the more confident 11 so once we master this we help master this for young people girls and boys but particularly this is big issue among girls number three I think small think small why would I say that most people say think big you have your dreams and aspirations they can be big for you but every day think small like what is the one thing the one little thing that I could do today that would make a difference and do it first do it before everything else like have it at the top of your to-do list one thing for you Google that job speak to that person right out my strengths do that project it could be five minutes long but imagine if you did something small for five minutes ever des and the person the decks desk next to you did nothing small for five minutes every day then who’s gonna be laughing in the year right so things small every single day what is it that you could do that will make a difference number four who in here is exceptional looking after themselves Brad I’m glad the breast woman is we need you to be but look look you know what look around there’s we pray to you not enough who who in here knows they should but doesn’t really yeah mostly it’s because we think we’re indestructible and we are indestructible for many years and also we sort of feel like we’ll do it when tomorrow when they’re okay our focus on me I’ll get everything else done at the end of that list is me yeah how would it be if we

▶ Play this clip

turn that list upside down this head is that a selfish act yes it was a yes here so is it possible that if you looked after yourself more you could make a bigger difference to others now really get that into your brain so if it’s a proven fact and we you know hear about this all the time but we don’t really really listen is that women who look after themselves more physically mentally emotionally and spiritually have more sleep have less depression have less anxiety do better at work have more healthy relationships and most importantly have a better sex life now so look after yourself is really key and I think if this is a challenge for you which is for many of us in the room then please let’s think about turning that round completely otherwise you will stop at some point your body will say enough or your mind will say enough lastly final point here is find your tribe find your tribe what does that mean find your tribe means be around that empowering peer group so in my opinion your peer group should be people who are sort of maybe slightly above where you want to be so there are people who will be not only supportive supportive people are sort of on the same level but they’re definitely not going to be unsupportive you want them to be able to challenge you a bit okay so find whether it’s an aspiring venn or whether it’s in your workplace or it’s a women’s community or it’s a community in your local area but find your tribe who

▶ Play this clip

are the people and if you can’t find a tribe then start a tribe I couldn’t find one when I first came to London so I started a spire so or if you don’t want to do that find someone else that wants to do it and do it in collaboration so find your tribe is so important and then contribute to that tribe contribute to that group and be in that group so the five things I’ve said the first thing I said was what commit to commit to change number two as well focus on your strengths number three think small number four and number five find your tribe okay so what is the difference you need to make to yourself that will make a bigger difference to others this is me shuffle accompanies out

▶ Play this clip